An Acute Awareness of the Rapid Onset of Panic

Dizzy eyes
Leaking thoughts
Out of balance
Trying to control breathing
Fresh air helps
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
what is going on
what is this
why is this
why is this happening
why is this always happening
what did i do
what did i do
imgoingtodieimgoingtodie
i might already be dead and dreaming
this isnt real
nothing is real
nothing is right
what is right
ohmygod
i’m falling out of my body
i need to see a doctor
i don’t have time right now
how can i not make time for my health
what is wrong with my priorities
imsolazyimgoingtodieofit
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
imstuck imneverleaving idontwantto

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One comment

  1. Very evocative of a panic attack! I sometimes get them too, I never feel like i’m going to die but have a feeling of free floating terror that something awful is going to happen and I will be ill-equipped to deal with it. I hyperventilate and I can hardly speak, my body screws itself up tight.
    And so forth . . .

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