I get negatively affected by winter. I get lethargic, I get gloomy, I more or less only want to hibernate but can’t so I walk around like a frozen frustrated zombie.
I have to force myself to do most things. I’m consistently fighting myself. It’s a struggle, but I also don’t do myself any favors. I ruminate on the past, I feel shame and guilt for very minor things, and put too much focus on myself. Self-awareness can be healthy, but not when it devolves into self-consciousness. Winter heightens my negative emotions and thinking patterns, and generally mutes any and all enthusiasm or optimism that a normally-functioning Tyler carries.
If you live in the New Jersey/New York area (or anywhere in Northern Europe and North America for that matter) this has been a brutal winter. Even if you don’t have a diagnosed seasonal affective disorder, you’re bound to feel worse than usual when it’s colder than a popsicle at the bottom of the ocean and your house becomes cabin fever central.
But Spring is around the corner. Pretty far around the corner, I need a telescope to see it, but it’s there, all tiny and shimmering with white blooming trees and green breathing grasses. With shorts and bare feet. With more rain than you ever expect, but with room temperature nights that let you get back outside and experience the natural surroundings you were born to be in.
Baseball season starts again. You get more sunshine and the days get longer. At the tail end, you get the best weather ever because it’s not quite 100+ degrees or sticky. This global thaw helps refresh your mind. Everything is reborn. It’s refreshing, it’s a time to hatch new beginnings and new plans. It’s a time to take a trip with friends or family. Spring is the graceful climax that makes you forget that terrible winters even exist.
I’m so excited. I can already smell the warmer, welcoming Earth.